The Politics of Pussy

Note to the reader: this article freely and frequently uses the word pussy to describe a woman’s genitalia. If you find this offensive, please read the alternative version, The Politics of a Not a Penis, here.

The Politics of Pussy | Plus Size Life

The Politics of Pussy

In a country that dubs itself “the leader of the free world,” having a pussy is never a good thing.

Being in possession of a pussy in America means you live beneath an ever-thickening glass ceiling. It means you can be the victim of a brutal rape and if your rapist is a promising male athlete, you’ll have the privilege of watching him walk away from taking responsibility for his “two minutes of action” via a legal system designed by and controlled by penises.

Being in possession of a pussy in America means you are not allowed to choose what happens to it. Your pussy is regulated, ruled on and controlled by a population of people who don’t even know what it’s like to have a pussy.

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Quiz: Which US Presidential Candidate Should You Back?

Which Presidential Candidate Should You Back? | Plus Size Life

By now, must American voters have chosen their candidate and are doing everything in their power to persuade everyone they know that their candidate is the right man – or woman – for the job. But every time I scroll through my Facebook timeline, the same worrying questions keep popping up:

  • Who should I vote for?
  • Tell me why I should vote for Clinton without saying ‘Because she’s not Trump’
  • I don’t support either candidate, I just won’t vote
  • Trump will ruin the country; Clinton will destroy it; I don’t want either

The fact of the matter is, both parties have done a fantastic job of demonstrating aspects of both candidate’s persona that make voters cringe. With impish schoolboy name calling and orchestrating fantastically expensive FBI investigations that yield nothing, Trump has played a dirty game. And whilst Clinton has remained mostly poised and refused to stoop to his level of backbiting, she has had evidence thrown in the media to cause many American voters to question her capability to lead. (And then there’s the whole not liking women in charge thing that manbabies can’t cope with.)

So how do you choose a candidate to vote for? If you are a registered voter, you have got to vote in the upcoming election. It is not good enough to sulk and do nothing. It is not good enough to not have your voice heard. It’s not good enough to say, “The super delegates lied; their vote didn’t count, mine won’t either.” Those are all excuses. If you are of age and status to vote, whether you are in the States or abroad, cast your ballot. Fellow expats, if you don’t know how to register to vote abroad, leave a comment. I’ll talk you through it.

Okay, you’re voting. Now who do you vote for? How do you choose a candidate with both candidates have been so vilified? When both seem so terrifying? You base it on policy. I don’t expect many people want to pore through each candidate’s political policies, so I’ve created this simple quiz using actual, factual policies from each candidate. All you have to do is take the quiz. Choose true or false for each statement and in the end you’ll be matched with your ideal candidate.

A very big thank you to the wonderful, non-biased people at Politi Platform and all the work they’ve done in highlighting each candidate’s policies. All policies were pulled from these two pages: www.politiplatform.com/clinton and www.politiplatform.com/trump. What each candidate believes and stands for is there in black and white without the noise of the other candidate, so you can make an informed decision.

How to Survive Brexit as an Immigrant

How to Survive Brexit as an Immigrant | Plus Size Life.co.uk

I didn’t have the fortune of being born in the UK. I am not British by birth, but I am by choice. I have called the UK home since 2008.  And from my very first days here, I fell in love with this beautiful vibrant country, with the amazing British culture, the endearing way how when living in Britain, history seeps into your bones and you pass by buildings older than America itself. Over this past week, the safe haven of my Britain suddenly became as volatile as the torn country I came from and my heart is broken. I find myself asking wondering: how to survive Brexit as an immigrant. I’m no stranger to racism. As a member of a minority race, I have experienced racism in most of its infuriating formats:

  • Racism By Oversight: sly digs punctuated by hands raised to mouths and uncomfortable giggles
  • Blatant, Quiet Racism: where people either stare slack-mouthed at any defining physical feature of your body common to your ethnicity yet so different from the body types prevalent in their culture
  • Blatant, Outspoken Racism: where people refer to you as “that coloured girl”
  • Racism By Default: where you are the token black friend and therefore the authority on all things ethnic
  • Racism By Minority: where yours is the only black face in the room and your dark skin is unmissable in the sea of pale and pink faces

The UK needs to rise above this scary new chapter it has entered, where people feel emboldened off the back of a bad decision they were manipulated into opting for, and think leaving notes that say abhorrent things like “No Polish Vermin” is okay. Or where they shout at a Muslim woman on a train for not speaking English in England. When in fact, she was speaking Welsh in Wales. Or when gangs of boys jeer at brown-skinned women on the streets and tell them to eff off back home and to leave the UK. In my 8 years of living in the UK, of living in a big city, racism towards me has been mostly non-existent. Now, after Brexit and after seeing the horror stories posted on line about the abuse immigrants have been subject to, I am, for the first time in my British life, afraid. 

The UK cannot become this place. It cannot become a replica of America with all its racial problems and its division. The UK cannot stoop so low as to reject people because they are from a different country, because they are “strapping young men, [dressed] in better clothes … who see money and benefits”.

Why are Brexiteers so afraid of immigrants? 

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Platform Clogs are Back in Fashion

When I was a tweenager, clogs were the shoe trend of the day. They were the status piece for confident, fun-loving gals in cities across America, girls who clunked down the street in their wooden-soled shoes, sipping the latest Starbucks coffee craze from green straws. I suppose every clog has its day and today platform clogs are on the rise!

Trends to Follow Right Now: Platform Clogs | Plus Size Life.co.uk

Who Wears Platform Clogs?

Anyone, technically speaking, but they’ve always been popular with celebs loafing about town, running errands.

Kate Beckinsale Walks Dogs in Platform Clogs | Plus Size Life.co.uk

Photo Cred: Popsugar

Just look at Kate Beckinsale, cosy in a poncho and a pair of platform clogs walking her dog. I don’t have a dog, but if I did, my first pick of shoes would be a comfy, trodden pair of trainers not towering platform clogs.

Miley Cyrus Wears Platform Clogs 3 Ways | Plus Size Life.co.uk

Photo Cred: Couture in the City

Even attention-seeking A-listers with a penchant for the limelight and making bad choices crave trendy platform clogs. Don’t believe me? Just watch Miley Cyrus rock a pair on three separate occasions.

Katie Holmes on the move in platform clogs | Plus Size Life.co.uk

Photo Cred: Pinterest

You know those mid-to-late 90s Starbucks sipping, clog-wearing girls I spoke about? Here’s the perfect example as Katie Holmes’s wide stride demonstrates. This is straight nostalgia for me! Almost makes me want to kick off my clogs and settle in with an episode of Dawson’s Creek for old time’s sake…

What Are Platform Clogs?

Traditional Dutch klompen | Plus Size Life.co.uk

Photo Cred: Pinterest

Strictly speaking, a clog is traditional Dutch footwear, a shoe with a thick wooden sole. They’ve normally got a little bit of a heel to them-maybe an inch or two. They’re descendants of the cute klompen, favourited by farmers and gardeners in The Netherlands. A clog isn’t completely wood, just the sole. And when you add a four or five inch heel to it, you’ve got a platform.

Wear These Platform Clogs

Trends to Follow Right Now: Platform Clogs for Every Budget

Find your perfect pair of platform clogs, no matter your budget!

Get yourself a pair of clogs! They’re resilient, practical and comfy!  My very first pair of clogs were cushion-soled Earth Shoes, just like hippies wore in the 70s. Paired with stonewash flares and a tie-dyed tee shirt, no doubt, I was comfy, current and cute in the late 90s. Thankfully, stonewash jeans haven’t resurfaced and tie-dye is the craze no more. Just mate your own platform clogs with an A-line summer dress, bootcut denim or the curvy girl’s best friend: a perfect, figure-flattering pair of skinny jeans.

8 Times Real Women Rocked Fatkinis

A roundup of 8 real women from Instagram rocking fatkinis | PlusSizeLife.co.uk

As the days get longer and the temperature gets warmer, one thing springs to my mind: the beach! Spending a few days soaking up the sun on a sandy beach or beneath a giant umbrella poolside is my idea of a perfect way to celebrate summer! And what better way to prepare us all for the balmy days of summer than with some real-life Instagram inspiration? Let’s go! Dammmmmmmn, divas! Back it again with the fatkinis!

1. This Perfectly Plus-Size Pineapple Fatkini

A plus size woman wearing a fatkini on the beach with mirror aviator sunglasses.

Photo credit: @nicoleinreallife

Squishy body or not, @nicoleinreallife looks fun & fab in her gorge’ suit

2. This Lovely Lime Suit

A plus size woman wearing a lime green fatkini

Photo credit: @xbrittney89

That lovely lime swimsuit is eyecatching but so it that adorable phone cover!

3. The One with Cotton Candy Pink Jellyfish

A cotton candy pink fatkini

Photo credit: @pervvypanda

@pervvypanda matched her hair to her suit & totally killed the game

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Why You Need to Calm the F**K Down about Cultural Appropriation

A video of an altercation between students at San Francisco State University has gone viral. In what can only be described as a radical confrontation with the antagonist, a black girl sporting kinky curls, assaults, vilifies and behaves in a threatening manner towards another student, a white guy with dreadlocks. In the wake of the video, the cultural appropriation campaign has gained strength. I’m here to call bullshit on the idea of cultural appropriation and show you why you need to calm the f**k down with all that nonsense.

Why cultural appropriation is bullshit | Plus Size Life.co.uk

What is cultural appropriation?

The adoption or use of elements of one culture by members of a different culture. It’s worth noting that the only cultures who ever cry about cultural appropriation are minority cultures. By its very definition, cultural appropriation supports, encourages and is driven by separation, segregation and derision. It creates an invisible barrier where anything, products, clothes, attitude, hairstyle, the way you do your makeup is suddenly off limits if the person or persons who founded the thing are of a different culture than you.

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I Quit My Job: Finding the Confidence to Change My Career

I quit my job: 20 questions to ask before you quit your job |Plus Size Life.co.uk

I quit my job. After agonising about this decision, after over 3 months of unhappiness, after making myself ill with worry, after sleepless nights and moaning about the sorry state things had progressed to, I quit. Quitting a job isn’t an extraordinary achievement — thousands of people quit their jobs every day. I’ve quit jobs before and since I’m not even 30, I’m likely to do it again. But what was so extraordinary is what happened after I quit:

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16 Mugs That Make You Glad You Have A Coffee Addiction

16 Mugs for Coffee Addiction | Plus Size Life

Lorelai Gilmores of the world unite! Coffee is that sweet nectar that energises you and keeps you sane. Everything about coffee is incredible, the aroma, the flavour and the mugs you drink it from. Coffee addiction is a real and beautiful thing, just take it from Ms Gilmore:

Lorelai Gilmore Coffee Quote | Plus Size Life

So saith the Patron Saint of the Bean

I discovered coffee pretty late in life. I had always been an avid tea drinker (well, since immigrating to the UK). But when I gave up fizzy drinks nearly two years ago, I needed something to replace the caffeine and found liquid manna.

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14 Unusual Valentine’s Day Gifts for Men

The really unfair thing about Valentine’s Day is that somewhere along the line, it’s become another opportunity for women to be spoiled and men to be overlooked. I’m totally not cool with that and you probably aren’t either! So here are 14 unusual Valentine’s Day gifts for the man in your life:

14 Unusual Valentine's Day Gifts for Men | Plus Size Life.co.uk

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14 Best Valentine’s Day Gifts for Women

I know; I know. Valentine’s Day is so passe and cliche. It seems the older we get, the more cynical we are and Valentine’s Day certainly gets a bad rep.

14 Best Valentine's Gifts for Women |PlusSizeLife.co.uk

Let’s put all that aside for the moment and let’s just assume you want to treat the woman in your life (or you want to treat yourself!) to a little somethin’-somethin’ this 14 February. If you do, you’re in luck! Here are my picks of the 14 best Valentine’s Day gifts for women.

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